Have you ever had a conversation with someone and thought to yourself “Great! We’re on the same page”, only to find out later you were talking about apples and the other person thought you said oranges? The result you thought you were going to get turned out to be completely different to what you visualised. Of course, this has happened to us all. Why is it that people just don’t listen? In your mind it was clear, concise and really simple. This is the source of many conflicts and frustrations as a business owner. Why does this happen and what can we do about it?
The first thing to understand is that communication is all about what’s received not what’s sent. It’s all well and fine for you to know exactly what you mean, however, how can you be sure that the other person does as well? Often times we believe they were just not listening, or they deliberately did what they wanted as opposed to what we asked them to do. Sometimes this is the case but more often than not it was because of a misunderstanding.
We all have different styles of communication and this includes our listening styles. The key is to know yourself and to know others. To take it to the ultimate level is for all of us to know each other. One of the best tools I know to help do this is a behavioural assessment tool called DISC. Interestingly the creator of DISC, William Moulton Marston, was also the first person to develop a functional lie detector and, also created the Wonder Woman character (remember the lasso of truth?).
DISC is based on 4 different behavioural styles.
D – Dominance. People with this style tend to be ambitious, forceful, decisive, strong willed, independent and goal oriented. They want you to communicate in a clear, specific way and for you to be brief and to the point. Stick to business and be prepared with supporting material in a well organised package. They tend to like to do things the Fast way. Approx. 18% of the population are highest in the D style.
I – Influence. People with this style are usually magnetic, enthusiastic, friendly, demonstrative and political. They like you to create a warm and friendly environment, are not keen on hearing the detail (if you want them to get it then put it in writing) and you need to ask them feeling questions to draw out their opinions. They like to do things the Fun way. Approx. 28% of the population are highest in the I style.
S – Steadiness. People with this style like you to start your communication with a personal comment to break the ice. Present your case softly and in a non-threatening way. They like how questions as this will draw out their opinions. They like to do things the Traditional way. Approx. 40% of the population are highest in the S style.
C – Compliance. People with this style like you to prepare your case in advance. Stick to business and be accurate and realistic. They like the detail and for everything to be factual and to be achievable. They like to do things the Proper way. Approx. 14% of the population are highest in the C style.
When we have a good understanding of our own behavioural style, including our strengths and our weaknesses, we are better equipped to develop strategies to meet the demands of our environment. And being a great communicator will certainly help. Interestingly enough almost all of us exhibit all four behavioural styles to a certain degree of intensity. The next and more important aspect is to understand others. When we communicate to others in a way that suits their style best, then its highly likely that what they hear is exactly what we meant them to hear.
The benefits of great communication are huge. You may not have the “lasso of truth” however your can greatly enhance your ability to have everyone on the same page at the very least. Talk to your local Alternative Board Facilitator to find out more.